How To Get the Carpet Cleaner

The van wasn’t finished yet. All that it needed was something to make it look like a true home on wheels and all the fellows could call it a day. Then Dewey suggested going down to the town rubbish pile and hunting up some carpet. That would make the rusty metal box look like it was the finest living room anybody had ever seen. Everyone jumped in and got down to the trash heap as quick as possible. There were several interesting ones to choose from, but right next to a household cleaning products catalogue was a medium blue number with some nice paisley designs in it. Bud said it looked okay, but that it was a might stained; there was definitely a need to get the carpet cleaner.

Getting the carpet cleaner was not as easy as it sounded. First they took an old garden hose and kept upping the intensity of the stream by applying a thumb to the end. The carpet was getting wetter and wetter, but that water was not getting the carpet cleaner. Herb’s mom had this stuff that smelled like she had made it from turpentine and week old dog mess, but he swore that it always did the trick. You just had to live outside for a few days and not light any matches within a hundred feet of the house. So, it was tried with some mixed results. We used that  household cleaning products paper to beat the flames off Bud when Dewey forgot and lit off a cigarette.

The options were running slim when someone noticed, while looking at that household cleaning products rag, that they had something that was perfect as a carpet cleaner. Apparently, this stuff foams up and gets all the years of cat mess and baby vomit right out of the fibers with less effort than it took to turn a page in that household cleaning products catalogue. Everybody went in together and got some of it, and it worked better than fifteen treatments from Herb’s mother’s stuff. Herb took the remnants of the can to her because that day was when she had set aside to clean the rugs, and Herb was fond of taking a smoke on the back porch in the breeze of a cool evening. She was so happy that she threw her old mix away, and quit leveling the shotgun at us every time we came by.

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